Monday, November 20, 2006

The new "for now" normal.

Mothering young children is not easy, and rarely predictable, and lately every few days brings a new challenge. M had a "mystery virus" that knocked her off for a good 6 days, and the boy is just getting over a mild (Thank heavens!) case of RSV, but I have once again fallen into a routine of some sort.

Neither child sleeps through the night (once again) so I am very sleep deprived, but here is an outline of my days.

5:00 AM The boy wakes and is having problems breathing, so I come into the office to give him some albuterol to knock loose some of the gunk still in there. He sometimes wants to nurse again during or shortly after that, so I let him. More often than not though, he will be ready to start the day. Very rarely, he will fall back asleep during this and I may get another 2 hours of rest myself. Usually, I will barracde us into the living room and try to catch a nap on the couch until at least the sun is up, too.

7:00 AM DH leaves for work and both girls and the boy are usually up by now. I force myself into motion and make the beds, telling the girls to get dressed. I will remove the boy's splint unless he has already done it and then I scrub the bathtub, being sure to use a fresh towel, then draw a warm bath for the boy. I set the girls up with their breakfasts, bring out a fresh diaper and clothes for the boy, then get him undressed and into the tub. The boy is easily trained and will put his own clothes down the chute before he plays for a bit in the water, sometimes with bubbles, sometimes with toys, but always under 10 mintues since we can't let the skin or grafts pucker. While he bathes, I take the opportunity to put in my contact lenses and wash his glove and shorts by hand in cool water, wring them in a dry towel, then hang to dry the rest of the way and put a fresh glove and shorts with his clothing for the day.

7:15 or there abouts, I "scrub down" the boy's hand and thigh then drain the water and take him out for PT/ massaging and stretching. With the clean, wet, towel clad boy on my hip I run some warm water so C can do the dishes in the kitchen. Yes, she is only 6, but LOVES to do them, so I let her when I know there is nothing that will hurt her in the sink. She takes great pride in washing the 2 bowls and 2 spoons, and I never let on that as soon as she is out of the house, I rewash them since she isn't too maticulous about making sure things are actually clean as she washes them. Again, she is only 6! I set M on the task of putting all dirty clothes down the chute and gathering hangers to put with the laundry basket, then they are both told to get their shoes on before they can turn on the TV.

7:40 The boy is finally dressed to the shoes and new garments on his hand and thigh. I drain the water in the kitchen sink and compliment Char on finishing the dishes. I give him his pulmicort treatment next while he nurses for a bit.

7:50 I set him up with some breakfast in the hallway and the girls watch a bit of TV, I finally get to hop into the shower and get dressed to the shoes myself, but not before scrubbing the tub once again, again with a fresh towel, and putting any tys useed int eh sink to dininfact as well. Thanks to the boy's burns, I need to scrub the tub before and after every bath to prevent the the transfer of bacteria or other germs. I leave the door open so I can keep an eye on the boy and keep an ear open to make sure the girls are watching "approved" television.

8:05 I am showered, shampooed, shaved, clean, cleansed, clothed, moisturized, I've meditated a bit and have my hair in a towel and teeth brushed. I have tossed all the towels and the washcloth used on the boy's burns down the chute, and have rinsed and put away the bathtub toys and am now moving the boy to the living room to join his sisters, who have now been instructed to check their back packs to make sure everything is in there that needs to be in there and that I have signed everything that needs to be signed.

8:15 I gathered any laundry still up here and start on a load after sorting it all, bringing up any things that is clean and hanging in the basment, putting it away immediately.

8:25 I now can start on breakfast for myself, usually downing a bottle of water while I do so. I can usually nurse the boy and check my e-mail at the same time. The girls are given a warning that the TV will be turned of in 5 mintues then they will need to neaten up the Living room.

8:30 The TV is turned off and the girls put away the few toys that are out, tossing any trash they find and putting DVD's into a pile to be gone through later.

8:35 The girls are told to go brush their teeth and put on their jackets. I finish up with the boy and put my bowl in the kitchen sink. I take the towel off my head and may have time to use a blow dryer, but usually am happy getting a comb through it at the very least.

8:45 I set up C in the front hall to watch for her bus, then make sure the boy has all he needs in his diaper bag. I give any meds that need to be given to anyone that needs it, and if I can squeeze out 5 more mintues, I will even put on some make up.

Here is where the days get unpredictable and screwy usually. C's bus is supposed to arrive at 8:53. It has come as early as 8:45 and as late as 9:20! If we are having a decent day, she is on the bus by 9AM. Any later than that, and my morning gets off track, and I have to try my best to keep my cool. If I have to drive C to school, it gets off kilter even more, even though her school is less than a mile away! Her school day starts at 9:10 if all goes well. I lock up the front once again as soon as she leaves, or sooner if we are ready to head out, too.

Mondays and Wednesdays the boy has school from 9 until 2 PM. Yes, he is usually late since I can't leave the house until C is on the bus, but school is flexible and is less than 1/2 mile away. We can sit in the car to wait for the bus if we had a very smooth morning and I can get everyone in before C's bus arrives. C gets to sit up front since we don't actually move while waiting in the driveway, so that usually puts her in a very good mood. Tuesdays M goes to the In Laws (ILs). They live about a mile away, in the exact opposite direction from the primary school. Every Other Thursday I go to MOPS to save my sanity. I am on the creative activites team there, and am supposed to arrive at 9AM, but again, I can't leave until C is on the bus, so I am always late to that since it is about 5 miles away. That meeting ends at 11:30, but since I am on the steering team, I stay to help clean up, and M usually ends up missing her bus, but she doesn't care since I usually get her a Happy Meal to eat on the way to school. Fridays I travel north to do my banking, gassing up the car and visit with my parents. I try to schedule doctor appointments for myself when C is at school, even better if I can get a day when R or M is at school, too, and I've hit the jackpot if I can get an early afternoon appointment when everyone is gone.

No matter the day I need to be home before noon, earlier if we do not eat while out. M gets on the bus around 12:15, as early as 12:05 and as late as 12:35, but her school starts at 12:40 the same place C attends. If I need a few extra minutes, there is no disaster if I have to drive her to school. C is in the first grade and M got into the Pre K Program that is new this year, if you have been reading all along, you knew that already.

If I have no other plans, and no meetings or appointments, I like to come straight home after morning drop offs then rebooth the laundry and redo the dishes, and get it all clean, dried and put away. I will run the vacuum, "Swish and swipe" the bathroom including the sink, mirror and toilet, sweep the bathroom, hall and kitchen, and if I have the time, wash the floors, too. I aim to wash the floors at least one time a week each. If M is still with me, she may dust or play with "special" toys that we don't play with when the boy is around for one reason or another. She really likes it when it is just me and her, so we tend to go to the mall to walk or out to lunch together just the two of us. When she is at my IL's they drop her off by noon since they usually feed her.

If we eat at home, I make sure she brushes her teeth and washes her face, and puts her lunch things away, garbage in the garbage and dirty dishes in the sink, then I set her up in the front hall to watch for her bus, but she is much less proficient at it, so I wait with her, usually checking my e-mail here in the office while I jump up every 2.8 seconds to see if her bus is coming. Her bus won't even slow down if she is not out there waiting, but I will not let her out of the house without me right there with her. I lock up the front once again as soon as she is on the bus. Mondays and Wednesdays I may meet friends for lunch or find another way to enjoy my "free" time (no children for an hour and 45 minutes!) Once or twice a month I switch M's IL day to Wednesday and will either go papercrafting with my friends or volunteer in C's classroom and have lunch with her before driving to my IL's getting M and then driving back to drop her off at school. C's "centers" are from 11 until 11:45 with lunch immediately following. They eat quickly and get to go out for recess, so I am usually done by 12:05, but won't kill myself to get M to our house to catch the bus. I'd rather drive leisurly , visit with my IL's for a bit, then drive M to school. I still have over an hour before I have to get the boy, so I may run an errand or two, lunch with the ladies, or come back home to have uninterrupted computer or TV time. I may even do more laundry. On Friday's I try to take this time to grocery shop.

1:45 (Mondays and Wednesdays) I head to school to pick up the boy and take my time there since he is usually napping. He is usually chatty and happy to see me. If I have any unfinished errnad, I will take him with me to complete them, but usually we come home, and I may have to nebulize him again, but know I have to nurse him. We both need it!

2:30, I wash anything that needs washing in the kitchen, then will strip and remake a bed or two, adding to the laundry pile. The boy will either finish napping or play nicely in the clean living room or bedroom. We may play toghther, read books, or just snuggle while I finish watching a TV show I've taped or a movie.

3:30, I open up the front again and wait for the girls to get home. They ride the same bus home, so at least I only have to wait for one bus. It usually arrives around 3:35. DH gets home around the same time, and will need a snack when he gets home. So will the girls and the boy will join them.

3:40ish I go through each of the girls' backpacks, sign any papers that needs signing, wite any checks that need written and get them set up with homework and snacks. DH and I look at school work, and chat about their days. DH then usually leaves for another job, or excuses himself to go work in the studio.

4:00 I let the kids watch TV while I get dinner going. Wednesdays they have Church at my IL's church from 6:30 until 8:05. Thursdays M has Tumbling from 5:10 to 6:10 so I usually serve pasta those nights. Fridays C has Ice skating from 6 until 6:50. If DH is home, we always eat dinner as a family at the dining room table. I love this part of my day! I'd love it even more if I couls convince DH to turn off his phone for the 45 minutes we take to eat, but I digress.

Dh usually takes charge of clearing the table and putting away the leftovers. We may let C wash dishes, but we are usually rushed so she won't get a chance. If DH is "home" then he will play with all 3 kids for a bit so I can wash the dishes and get the sink shiney again. I will also wash the table in the dining room well and set the boy up for evening dressing change.

If we are going to be home for the night, I will then bathe the girls then scrub the tub (One day a week) and then bathe the boy or just scrub the tub then bathe the boy again. Either way, while I am bathing the boy the girls will change into their jammies, and pick up their room, putting toys and books away and cltohes down the chute. While he is in the tub, I will wash the day's glove and shorts again, wring them in a clean towel and set them out to dry. After that I will let the girls brush their teeth.

By this time, it is usually around 7PM (on a night we are home). I send the girls to bed, and promise to come tuck them in in a bit. They say their prayers and talk to each other, read or play with their leap pads in their beds for a bit while I do the boy's PT, stretching and massaing, put him in his jammies and put his splint on too that he sleeps in. I add tape to his sleeve to try to make it harder for him to get the splint off. He needs ot wear it 12 hours a day.

7:15ish we go in to say our goodnight, check to make sure they said their prayers, then I will turn down the lights and turn on their music. I remind them of events that will take place the next day, then give them kisses and tell them I love them before closing their door. I will go to our room, set the DVR for the evening, then return my attention to the boy. I administer any meds he needs, then its back to the office to be nebulized again with both pulmicort and albuterol if needed then will nurse him again before putting him in bed by 8. With any luck, the girls are already asleep by then.

8:05PM I scrub the tub once again, putting all the towels and the washcloth down the chute, then finish up cleaning the kitchen and dining room. I make the trip back down to the laundry room, and bring up anything that is clean down there. I will fold, hang, and put away anything that is ready to be dealt with. I will pull out anything I need to pull out for dinner tomorrow and check the calendar for any events that we will be needing to attend the following day.

With even more luck, DH will be home, rested and available to spend time with. We will usually attempt to watch a TV program or two before heading to bed. We try to stagger our going to bed since we only have one bathroom, and we both need to get in there to wash our faces and brush our teeth. I also get my contacts out and go potty, since I usually don't remember to do it during the day LOL!

If its a good night, The boy and M will sleep through til morning. Usually the boy will wake around 11 but put himself back to sleep. Around midnight, M will find her way to our room and sneak into our bed. 1AM the boy usually wakes and needs a breathing treatment and/or nursing. I will return M to her bed before getting the boy. I try to put the boy back in bed, but I usually fall asleep before he does. 3:30 the boy wakes again to nurse and I usually have to put M back in her bed before I get the boy. Then 5 AM arrives once again.

It gets even more fun when M has an asthma flare up as well and I have 2 kids to nebulize and medicate.

Well, for now, I'm going to bed. I spent way too long typing this all out. Time I could have spent sleeping, or doing laundry, but in reality I would have spent it playing online or watching TV. DH should be back home soon, so I was sort of waiting up for him anyway.

OK, Can I get 2 hours before the first kid wakes? I've already sent M back to bed 3 times since she fell asleep at 7:15.yes, she has woken up 3 times in 4 hours! At least she didn't go make herself comfy in our bed!

Wanna trade lives for a day or two?

2 Comments:

Blogger Lizzie Tish said...

Well I'm tired just reading all that! No thank you, I don't want to trade ;) You handle everything without stressing, you're such a great MOM!

Lizzie

1:15 PM  
Blogger Kelly said...

Yikes.. .and I thought I do a lot! It reminds me a lot of when I used to have debride C's nose after she got bit. All the prep and sanitation and stuff. No I don't want to trade, but remember, you can always call for "backup!"

8:43 AM  

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